Let's Dance - Talking Body Confidence

I’m a “Strictly Come Dancing” fan. The glitter, the sequins and seeing people stretched beyond their previously known capabilities on the dance floor. I love “Strictly” season. It’s inspirational watching non-dancers blossom.

Yet it seems there are many, especially women, who secretly yearn to learn some form of dance but never actually do it. Why?...

… One major reason, and the one I want to talk about, is self-consciousness about our bodies. Have you ever heard yourself say something along the lines of “it’s not for me, I’m too ...(pick your adjective)” while wanting with all your heart to do that very thing? Larger ladies for example may exclude themselves through fear - fear of ridicule, fear that they lack the skills to learn dance and even feelings of unworthiness, self-doubt, or that nobody will want to dance with the fat lady anyway. It’s a confidence issue for many women that can really eat away at getting more pleasure and satisfaction from life.

I want to be that friend reminding you that doing new things that will bring you joy, pleasure and new skills will also build self-confidence… by the bucket load! The more we allow ourselves to grow in confidence, the more and better experiences we can bring into our lives.

It’s all very well my encouraging you to follow that yearning to learn to dance, but if you’re feeling intimidated and insecure about it, if you have fears holding you back from signing up for some classes you might want a bit more of a nudge to get going. So, let’s break it down:

Journalling

Spend some time getting your ideas out, especially when it comes to identifying your resistance to signing up for dance classes. Let your imagination run wild, free and above all be as honest with yourself as you can:

1. List out any types of dance you would love to try out - tap, ballet, jazz, salsa, belly, ballroom anyone …?

2. Now write out a list of what appeals to you about each of these dance forms you’d like to try. Go into as much detail as you can so you really feel what attracts you to them.

3. Then write out a list of all the ways you are resisting signing up to try out some classes even though you know deep down you really want to.

The objective is to spotlight what you want, make it come alive, while becoming more consciously aware of the ways in which you are putting up barriers to actually going out and doing it. Awareness is the first step to overcoming resistance. Everybody has hang ups, nobody has it all worked out in every area of their life - so become aware but be kind to yourself too.

Harmony

If you have been living with low body confidence for a long time and often feel self-conscious, you don’t have to go all out in “getting over yourself” from one day to the next, unless you really want to and are ready for that. It’s okay to digest where you are right now and decide to work on body confidence at your pace. It’s fine to take small steps. Dance is something that over time can really help build confidence and that will ripple out into other areas of your life. But, what you don’t need is to push yourself so hard that you get anxious, stressed and therefore out of balance.

Embody

Think about the confident self you see yourself being as you start learning new steps, postures and ways to let your inner light shine as never before through dance. Look for role models to inspire you. Study the attitudes and mindsets of people you admire. Ask yourself how they would carry and handle themselves if they decided to learn to dance? For example, check out Jayde Adams cha-cha-cha-ing her way around the “Strictly” ballroom with her professional partner Karen Hauer last weekend in a sequined leotard and leg warmers. She oozes confidence, self-acceptance and not for a moment allowing her size to dim her light, she clearly loved each second of her performance. Or, perhaps you are more about embodying sophisticated charm and elegance as another on-the-large-side “Strictly” contestant Hamza Yassin does so well. Think about who you want to be and begin taking on some of those characteristics, you don’t need to wait until you get to a dance studio to do that, start now!

Relationships

Resistance can come in the shape of your nearest and dearest. It may be you expect disapproval from those closest to you or fear being ridiculed by them. The truth is we can’t be who we are meant to be so long as we depend on the approval of others. You may even be positively surprised by how those around you respond to your new activity. But if there are people in your life who are less than supportive, consider putting a little distance between you and them. Nobody can rob you of your sparkle without your permission!

Expansion

Dance can be a deeply rewarding path towards personal expansion. It’s fun, great for overall health and lifting your mood even on darker days. It keeps the brain active and there’s discipline involved; making improvements takes patience and practice. Dance can also introduce you to people from different walks of life as well as people with similar interests to you. It’s a fantastic way to broaden your circles.

Babies are not born into this world believing they are too fat or too anything. Sadly, thereafter many grow up learning to believe a load of nonsense about themselves. The good news is that it is never too late to unlearn unhelpful beliefs. For many years I wanted to learn to dance salsa, it looked like such tremendous fun. I tried a couple of group classes in my mid twenties but was insecure about my body and felt intimidated, buying into a bunch of unfounded beliefs about myself. In other words, I really do get the feelings and insecurities that can come up and how that can limit our lives. When I arrived in Guatemala over a decade ago and already in my 40s I took the plunge and started taking classes - it changed my life in so many ways, all of them for the better.

Don’t die with your boogie still inside you.

Hannah x 

P.S If you could use a little support, I'd love you to sign up for the FREE Self-Care Gift Box & Kit (it includes a Friendship Call with me, if you'd like to have a chat about anything). You can get your free Gift Box here